Be Playful, Sing and Dance

Do you think this is just for parties? No, singing and dancing and being playful improves your personality. You become more open, more light hearted. You become attractive by being playful. People tend to stick with you and follow you. You become a magnet for people. It also adds to your ability to face difficult situations in a playful way. Everything in life is a game. We need not win it, we just need to play it. When we know this, we can take up biggest of the stress with ease.

Value others contribution, be grateful

: If you feel you are independent, think again. Nobody really is independent. We are all interdependent. We depend on a lot of people in our life. Right from food, accessories, home, medical, emotional support, love etc etc everything. Can you imagine a life without these dependencies? We will be as good as dead.

So, we should be grateful to all those around us, making our lives worthwhile. Thank them everyday. Once in a while recognize everybody’s contribution. Trust me, they will even contribute more once they know you appreciate what they do for you.

Always Add Value

Whether you are earning millions or hundreds, the question is are you adding value. If not, sooner or later you will be eliminated. That’s the law of the nature, nature eliminates anything and everything which is not required. Everyday at office, add value, create something new, have discussions on company’s progress, do networking, create some deals for the company, be proactive and anticipate what your boss needs, try to fulfill that, exert your self fully. Take initiatives, take action points in meetings and do those, ask questions in the meeting, people should feel your presence in the meeting. Don’t be a dead person, just tugging along.

Do you like your job?

It’s better you do. Every person has to do his Karma, has to earn his living and contribute to the society in some way. This is the law of the nature. There are few of us fortunate, who do what they love. Others do their jobs. Whether you like it or not, you have to do work. You have to spend significant part of your life at work. As you are giving it a part of your life, you better like that part of your life as well. We can only like it if we enjoy it. And we will enjoy it if we fill everyday with enthusiasm. Create challenges for yourself within your job. Achieve those challenges, you will feel good. Always keep on adding to yourself, keep growing.

If the present job doesn’t fulfill you, create another part time opportunity which is closer to your interest. E.g if you are in Engineering and teaching is your interest, try out teaching kids free of charge on weekends or evenings. Or try out giving tuitions in your community.

How to be a Great Orator

I learnt 3 things about how to deliver a Great Speech

1. Clear the clog inside yourself by shouting loudly: When alone, scold some imaginative person, practice saying NO promptly, with full enthusiasm. Clear the clog inside you.

2. Learning to say straight things in a Firm way, with fewer clearer words: I used to say things round and round, just to be polite. This had a negative impact on my growth. People tend to follow Clear and Firm persons. It is very difficult to follow somebody, if his or her message is not clear. I used to delve into analysis and paralysis, while giving any answer or presentation. I used to try to give as accurate information as possible, to the “8th decimal” point. But it used to be very unclear for my people. I learnt that we should say the “Rounded Off” message, enough to make sense. Complicating beyond what is needed makes things worse. Round off your message, in such a way, that your message goes through. You need to know what message should go through, degree of accuracy of data does not matter then.

3. Intensity of your voice: Do you speak slowly or meekly ? No matter how good you are, if you do not speak with good intensity, you are taken as a soft person. Record your voice once in a while and listen to it. Would you like to follow this voice. Make changes in how you speak, again record. Continue to refine it till you see visible impact of this on your colleagues and subordinates. If a leader speaks Firmly, he is perceived as confident, honest and solid leader.

I sincerely believe a person with the above 3 things makes a good orator.

Come out of your comfort zones

What are comfort zones? These are psychological barriers, which prevent us to do anything not familiar. Why do we need to comeout of these ? To grow, to become free, to enjoy our life more. In professional life, to gain more leadership capabilities.

Most common comfort zones, preventing us to be a great leader are:

a. Public Speaking

b. Making our point, selling ourselves

c. Talking to strangers

d. Taking up risks

e. Taking Criticism, getting feedback

f. Giving Criticism, giving feedback

g. Being straight, Saying No

How to come out of comfort zone? I think first thing we need to do is Believe, believe that we can do it. How to make your mind believe the unthinkable? Once in a while do outrageous things, adventures, like tracking difficult terrains, running marathon etc. More than physical it is a mental training. This will give us mental power to believe that we can do beyond what we think we can. Increase your stamina and confidence.

Once you start doing adventurous things, and have some confidence, take up the point which you think you cannot do. Write down or discuss with somebody, why you cannot do. Write down the reasons. Overcome those reasons one by one. Practice the thing which you think you cannot do.

Do more to be more energetic

Have you ever experienced that some days, we work all day, then travel through out the night and then next day we are able to perform pretty well as well. And on some other days, we rest well 1 day, sleep well in the night and still the next day goes lousy. Atleast it has happened to me a number of times.


You must have seen doctors, even after continuously working all day, without eating much, they are still energetic in the evening to takeup any emergencies

Amazing, isn’t it.

The trick here is, the more we utilize our energies, more is given to us. Less we use up, whatever we have , even that is sapped. Nature’s law is that, whatever is not used, gets extinct. And whatever is used, gets even stronger and bigger.

So when you feel like sleeping in the afternoon, go out and do a brisk walk for 2 Km. You will feel the rush of energies.

We need to empty our energies to make room for more and more energy.

Take more and more Responsibility, expand yourself

Responsibility is never given, it is taken. Always be enthusiastic to take more responsibility. Power comes with responsibility , the more responsibility you take, more powerful you get. Why your boss is more powerful than you? Because he takes up more responsibility than you.


There is one great secret of life, the more responsibility you take, easier it is. Bigger theresponsibility, more resources you will have, more space you will have to maneuver. E.g if you have 10 projects, even if one fails, you have pretty good success rate, but if you have only 1 project and that itself fails, you success rate is very low. Lower the responsibility, more suffocating it is, because you are in a smaller space.

Taking up Responsibility has a cumulative effect, the more you take, people will see you more dependable and more competent for taking up bigger responsibilities. You will gain trust of more and more people

Make Commitments, even more than you think you can do, resources will come,

Normally we do not commit because we look at our resource situation, which doesn’t look adequate. Trick is to commit, at least 50% more than your capacity. Resources will follow, if you are committed for a cause. People will muster resources for you once they own-up the task. Don’t be afraid of the failure.

How does it work? E.g Marriage decision, you think you cannot marry right now because your salary is not good enough for 2 people to make a decent living. Obviously, you should not get married if you are not even employed. But if you are doing OK and still are afraid, go ahead and make the commitment. Once you make the commitment, your inner self knows now, that you have no other choice but to do it. Then it starts exploring more resources, e.g finding a better job, starting job for your partner, working harder to get a promotion, impressing your boss by inviting him home, increasing social circle by having a family now, leaving bad habits(and save some money) etc etc. There are a number of ways you can expand your resources, once you commit. If in the same situation, you don’t commit, continue the same path, chances are that you will not make eny effort in expanding your resources or conserving your resources.

Commitment gives a mental barrier to channelize our resources. Then life becomes a stream. It gives a focus to our goal, and if the focus is laser sharp, you can even cut through iron.

Commitment is how you expand yourself. Commit to a goal, accomplish it, commit to another one and move on, keep on conquering the world.

Change your role as fast as you can

In life we play multiple roles. Role of a father, son, husband, employee, manager, colleague. We should know what to do in each role and not to mix one role with the other. E.g Don’t be an employee when you are in front of your son, just be a father. Sameway, when you are in a social gathering, don’t be that High Official which you are at your office. Be what your present role is. Learn to switch roles seamlessly and learn to be comfortable in different role. Prepare guidelines for different roles e.g how will be behave as a Manager, do’s and don’ts of that. Strictly follow these rules to play your role well.

Problem comes when we don’t play our role well, or we mix one role with the other or we stick to just one role(Office role). Nobody appreciates or enjoys, when you are in a different role that what is needed. You yourself are in great difficulty as your mind is splitted on two roles now. Split mind is confused mind. Whatever you talk or do is not effective enough.

There are multiples ways of reaching your goal

I played a game called as Tom and Jerry, This game taught me a great lesson. Here we needed to clap, clap anywhere on our body or others body. The other person will try to stop you doing that.

It teaches us that we can achieve our goal multiple ways. Do not consider yourself debilitated by just one hindrance. Adapt another way. Be innovative, think out of the box and find out other ways of achieving the same goal. Keep your eye on the Goal. Whatever is the path, you have to achieve that Goal. Don’t come up with excuses of what is hindering you, rather come up with solutions and achieve your goal

Grab the opportunity

Opportunities are there around us all the time. We let those go, by being lazy, by being shy, by taking care too much of others (sacrificing) or by not being committed enough. Have a laser sharp vision for opportunities, spot those, keep your focus and commitment to get those. Don’t worry about whether you will be able to do it or not. Don’t get into the how part yet. Just grab the opportunity. Worst come to worst, you will not be able to do it, so what. At least you would have learnt something out of it.

Don’t Hesitate to express

We will never learn to communicate better till we say or express ourselves. The key is Not to hesitate to express ourselves,no matter how difficult the settings are. Make mistakes in our conversations, then learn from mistakes and make our conversation better and better.

Don’t worry about the detractors

I have come across detractors at every place, who would try to turn me down, try to be over smart. My learning is that don’t worry about them, don’t even hate them, because even by hating them you are giving a piece of your life to them, and they are not worth it. Let them do whatever they do, you just continue on the path of success. My experience is that in the end those kind of people fell down pretty hard.

Always keep a contributing attitude

Wherever you are, at home, at office, at a marriage party, I would advise myself to have a contributing attitude. What does that mean? That means we are always giving out, always trying to make things better by making conscious sincere efforts. Do not wait to be asked for help or to be asked for contribution, just do it. Nobody would like to part with such a person, who always contributes, makes others succeed.

Secret of a good presentation

A good presentation is actually not a presentation, it is a Dialogue, a one-to-many dialogue. How is it s dialogue? While delivering presentation, you are speaking, but you have to look into the audience, look at their expressions, are the nodding, smiling, getting what you are saying. Audience will “speak” affirmatively silently, to your messages, if they get it. In that sense it is almost like a two way dialogue, where you are speaking and audience is responding by expressions. Make your presentation a “Conversation”.

So, make your presentation a dialogue, a story. Tell that story in an interesting way. Your main message of the presentation should go through, nothing else matters.

Worst thing to do in a presentation is to cram it. We should know the topic, the overall message. The message of the presentation should be like North Star to you, should guide you throughout the presentation. Then just tell the message in as simple words as possible, as you would tell somebody in a one-to-one conversation.

Before the presentation, record your voice, try to set the Pace and Volume of your voice, by listening to your own voice. Once you are satisfied listening to your own voice, I am sure audience is going to like it.

Never bad mouth with your closed ones

Often we take our closed ones for granted and say them things which we will never say to others. Sometimes I just say outrageous things to my closed ones. After some time, it is me who get affected the most.

Don’t talk on others behalf

We do have perceptions of others, what they might like to do or not. Sometimes in a discussion, I say things on others behalf, based on my own perception and knowledge. Never ever do this, especially when we say on behalf of Not somebody close to us, or in a formal meeting. Always say, I think “that person” should comment on this.

Keep on aligning yourself with the changes happening around you

 Don't be in silos in your own department or team. Be aware of all the important things going on around you in the organization. Read important reports, webcasts etc. Keep planning and aligning your activities with the changes that are happening around you.

Clear communication

People listen to anything with the filter of their own interest on. Most of the time, They will not listen to you what you are saying in entirety rather just the piece they are interested in and will try to make their opinion on what you said. Your under-laying message sometimes gets lost in their opinion. This is another reason we need to be crystal clear, specifically to our subordinates, on communicating the main message.

Identify underperformers

Make it a habit of providing WRITTEN feedback to underperformers and persons who mis-behave in the team. It will be very useful in the appraisal round.

Keep it simple

Specifically in bigger team meetings, where you are speaking with 20+ people. Keep the agenda crisp and simple. Be to-the-point in the information you are providing. Allow limited time for questions. Do not let anybody demean you during questions/comments. Hold your position well. Try to tackle that person as calmly as possible, if he doesn’t subsides, shoot straight and ground the person.

Do not change your opinion just because somebody challenges you on that

If you have presented something in a meeting and somebody there refutes your argument, DO NOT accept that easily. You have done some background work, you have some knowledge, you have some expertise, that is why you are presenting that point. Try to clarify the person what you are trying to say. Try to question him on what other information he has, which you might have overlooked. But in any case, do not be subjugated by other immediately. If you do , it shows that you are shallow, your argument doesn’t have any weight.

Be clear in your communications

Do not worry about how short your speach is. What matters is how clear is it.

Another learning is that bigger the audience of your communication is, crisper the communication should be. If you start to dwelve into too many details, in a short speach to a large crowd, it will create a lot of confusion.

Keep in mind that your main message, whatever you are there for in a place, should go through. Rest, doesn't matter.

Unclarity in communication, or using indirect language, may lead to suspicion and in-turn to dis-trust. The behavior shows up as if you are hiding something. What ever you know, communicate that very clearly and crisply. Tell about the rest that you don’t know.

Start your Week and Day smartly

Avoid late night movies on Sunday evening. It spoils the Monday. Avoid rushing in the morning by getting up early. Avoid anything which makes you lose your temper in the morning. Don’t start too many things at a time. It is good to sit in a quiet room for first few minutes in the morning, go through the whole day schedule and next day schedule.

Treat everybody with respect, even the under-performers

Everybody has own preferences when it comes to people you go well with and the people you don’t go so well with. As a professional, you should respect all people contributing to the organization. Even with an underperformer, while doing his/her performance appraisal; never forget respect for the individual. Respect is a basic human need. It is very difficult but important to communicate somebody’s under performance respectfully.

Develop confidants

One of the factors of success in an organization is to have confidants, not sycophants, around you. We should have confidants amongst our colleagues, seniors and juniors, all 360 degrees. Confidants from support groups like HR come in very handy. Try to help or support your confidants as much as you can, without expecting any returns. You never know when you are going to need them.

Getting into a conversation

Do you find it difficult to enter into an ongoing group discussion? Well, I used to do so.

But then I learned this little trick, before getting into conversation with anybody, Say this thing to yourself

"Others(the ones you are going to start the conversation with) are human beings too. They are not god or mystical beings. They are not better than you. They are just as ordinary or special as you are."

Tell yourself this and try to believe it, because it's true. There is no one on this earth that is more special than you are. We are all created equal, regardless of looks, wealth or even confidence level. None of us is any better than any other. We are only different. So start with confidence.

Then We should learn and practice some of the "interruptor statements" in a conversation e.g

“ One comment is that” , “ I have One question” , “ I agree with you on the first part of your comment i.e xyz but differe on the part zxy” . Keep looking for good interruption statements used by good conversationalists. Note those down, memorize and use those appropriately.

Key to a good conversation is active listening. Then be in a GIVE mode , to provide something useful to the audience, which they value.

Never undervalue yourself

Sometimes we try to be nice to others and give them a chance to speak in a discussion. But usually this behavior is taken by others, not as a favor, but as a proof of you being dumb. My learning is that I should express myself, as soon as I have a valid and value adding point to make. By not expressing ourselves, we undervalue ourselves which later proves to be quite expensive.

Are you feeling used? How to avoid this?

Often times, I feel used. I tried to analyze that, why is that it happens? How people sometimes use me out of proportion, and I could not do anything?

At least for me, it happens because of not saying clear NO in the beginning itself. The moment somebody puts an out-of-the-way request, I sometime do not say NO and try to avoid the situation somehow, by giving excuses etc. The other guy finds the solution to those excuses, and then I am not able to say NO because my reason for saying NO has been eliminated, the guy has overcome the issues, and I am feeling helpless and used in this situation.


The learning for me is to say PLAIN NO, in the beginning itself, if you think you cannot do what the other person is requesting. Please for God sake, have courage and say NO.

Tough decision making

For me the difficult decision making comes when I do annual appraisal of my employees.Tougest ones are the border line appraisal cases, which are at the border line of Exceptional and On target, and the cases which are at the border line of On target and Improvement Required.

My learning is that do enough ground work, especially for these borderline cases, and then decide. But once you have decided, DO NOT WAVER UNDER ANY CONDITION. During the appraisal discussions, employee will try to justify to the best of his or her ability to get the best possible rating. Your brain will also might say that may be you are wrong. But rest assured, NEVER EVER CHANGE YOUR DECISION. Even if your change in decision is to give better rating to the employee, it is a disaster to change the decision. It will spoil the trust the employee has on the manager. Employees would also like to work under a leader who never wavers. Your intention might not be of wavering, but of giving best to the employee, but employees judge you by your behavior. They will see you as a weak leader, even if you change your decision in their favor.

Employee is not always right

As a manager you must have faced this. An Employee comes to you with her grievances, un-happiness or dissatisfaction at work place. She might be right in her frame of reference. As a manager you have to evaluate, whether you have to take care of that particular matter as is or whether you have to change the frame of reference with which the employee is thinking. It is easier to do the former, than the later as we are tempted to resolve the issue at hand.

One example for this learning is that the other day one employee came to me and said that he is feeling left out from the project team. He is not kept in loop for a number of discussions, not invited to team lunches etc. I took it as a simple matter and talked to the project manager to please include him in all project matters. Project manager’s view was that he should include appropriate amount of people , not everybody for everything, which is correct. Although he reluctantly agreed with me to include this particular person, but I knew I made a mistake.

Best action would have been to take an action on this, and then try to see holistically that why is that what has happened, happened. And then try to match the frame of reference of the subject matter with that of the employee’s. It is always better, and harder, to align the Frame of Reference or Perspective of various stakeholders in any matter. Most of the problems originate from this mis-alignment.

Be Professional

The moment you step into office, your attitude should turn professional. No emotional bullshit, not personal favors, no loose talk. Should have pre-decided or at least on the spot decided topics, discussion on those and decisions or next steps. The moment you defer from this path, you are calling for a trouble for yourself